North Africa: How Converted (Christian) women face rejection by their family and society

Converted women face rejection by their family and society

Nélya* has just been married in 2021. She married a Christian man. Not an arranged marriage, as her parents had. She and her husband are two young persons who met during their theological studies and fell in love with each other. “Things are changing.” Nélya is one of the key persons for work among Christian youth in North Africa, we accompany her in that work. With her we talk about the pressure on young women when they become followers of Jesus.

The expected negative response of the family makes female converts more cautious to make their conversion known as they do not want to run the risk to be expelled from their family’s home. Unmarried North African women are not expected to live outside their family home.

“I am in contact with two young women who are following Jesus. They live in very conservative Muslim families. At home they can’t speak about their faith, they would get into trouble. So we meet in secret online or on the phone. We take care not to mention Christian words or the name of Jesus, as the conversation can be overheard. These women are not allowed to come to church or to meet with other believers. They can’t profess their faith as they want.”

Often in Middle Eastern and North African countries, women only can leave home, when accompanied by their father or a brother, so leaving the house alone is culturally not accepted.

In the Islamic culture men and women are not equal. Because of that the role women get in society is limited. “The place of women is in the kitchen, that is still how many think,” Nélya says. As North Africa is influenced by Islamic thinking for more than a thousand years, this thinking of course has also influenced the church that consists of converts from Islam. “In general you can say that women don’t have the place they should have in church, women are still considered inferior to men.” But Nélya sees that the church has made progress. “For example in the leadership training, offered with support of Open Doors, there is good teaching to men and women about the position of women according to the bible.”

The situation of Christian women differs per church and per region. “Women in rural areas face more difficulties. It is very hard for them to be heard. In the cities women already take up responsibilities in churches. Not in all churches, but I see this change.”

The persecution of women in North Africa is described as ‘moral persecution’ by Nélya.

“Women face rejection by their family and society. They can be kept in house arrest by their families. Many are not allowed to go to church or meet with Christians. They face opposition when they want to marry a Christian man. Family puts a lot of pressure on them to follow all Muslim traditions and to renounce their faith in Jesus. Some women are sent away by their families, they had to be rescued by the church.”

Nélya explains: “In our region a girl or woman lives with her parents till she marries. To live outside your parents’ home as an unmarried woman is a shame. These girls are considered as women who have done something wrong, who committed adultery. They will lose the financial support of their family.”

An issue for Christian women is finding a Christian husband. “There are not many Christians in our countries, I hear often that Christian girls say that they have no real choice, but they feel pressured by their families to get married, as it is a shame when a girl over 25 years old isn’t married yet. In a way you are finished as a woman when that is the case. That mentality is also present in some of the churches. You often see men of 40, 50 years old, proposing to girls in their twenties.”

“I felt the pressure to marry also in my church,” Nélya says. “This feeling that I needed to get married, otherwise I would ruin my life.” Luckily, Nélya found her soul mate to marry. But there are various examples of Christian women who rushed into a marriage because of pressure. “A friend of mine who had great ambition in life, married a man who wasn’t fit for her. They got married but after two months this marriage ended in a divorce.”

Some other women feel so pressed to find a husband, that they marry a Muslim man. “In general it will be very difficult to hold on to their faith,” is Nélya’s opinion. “Some will continue to follow Jesus in secret. Only in very rare cases the husband converts to Jesus too.”

In recent years in some churches there have been positive developments regarding the position of women. “Churches started lots of activities for women. You can see women who are leaders in their churches. The church is increasingly supporting women.” Women’s ministry in church, different meetings where women discuss certain topics, but also trauma awareness training where women play an important role, she mentions as examples.

"Women must be perfect in all they do"

Our Restorations training is important because of the content, but also because of the conversations of the participants with each other. Listening to other women, hearing their stories, make them more aware of what is happening in society. Help is really needed. I remember a television program last year it was about the question if it is right when a husband beats his wife. Most women said ‘yes’. They mentioned that their husband was educating them when they were beating. My father used to beat my mother in our house. But even as Christians, women feel that men have the right to beat them when they fail to please their husbands. I was raised like this too. Pressure has always been bigger on women. Women must be perfect in all they do. That is now also expected of the women who work outside, they need to do all things good.”

“The training went very well. The Lord has continued his work in us, healing us and freeing us. Thank you Lord and thank you to the whole team of Open Doors for this investment for His sole and unique Glory.”

Women are given at least some more value in church than outside"

She sees difference between how women are treated in church and or in society. “I would say that women are given at least some more value in church than outside it. Within the church we are reshaping how women are seen. You now see women in leadership positions. But also you see differences in the marriages and in the teaching of the church. They teach respect for women.”

Also in the preaching of the pastors she recognizes respect for women. “Some Christian couples are different. You can see that the husband treats his wife different. They are not ashamed to show affection in public. I believe this goes especially for the newer generation. How women are seen and treated is not perfect in the church, we still have a long road to go. But I do see that great changes are taking place. A lot will depend on our generation and next generations.”

*Pseudonym used for security reasons.

North Africa: How Converted (Christian) women face rejection by their family and society

Converted women face rejection by their family and society

"Women must be perfect in all they do"

Women are given at least some more value in church than outside"

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